so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
