I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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