I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
