I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
