would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
