so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
