he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
