It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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