when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
