no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
