OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
