the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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