there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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