Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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