Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
