Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
