I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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