a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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