question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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