I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
