Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
