Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
