she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
