I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's Friday. Sex?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
