some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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