they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
