Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
