Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
