super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
