u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
