Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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