All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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