Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
