Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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