Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
