and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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