So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
