the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
