plz talk dirty to me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
