I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
