I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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