the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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