Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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