I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
