How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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