I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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