where am i from again
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have aggressive nipples.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
