i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
