im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
tell me about the fingering
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