would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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