And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
