Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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