Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
